The Long Form

Tag: mental-health

  • Remember to Remember

    I’ve written today’s to-do list on one sideand last night’s dream on the other.Somewhere between themis the doorway to my life. In the morning,I trust the list.It has edges,boxes I can fill,verbs that behave. Call this person.Send that email.Buy milk. Remember to remember. By nightI trust the dream.It speaks in symbolsand refuses to explain itself.People…

  • Almost

    When someone asks what I’m afraid of I offer them the known. I hand them the harmless things. – Drowning. Burning alive. Falling. – The polite fears. The kind you can outgrow. – Not being alone. Becoming my mother. Loving someone like my father. – The ocean is acceptable. No one flinches when you say…

  • The Long Way Around

    I learned earlyhow to carry things without handles.  How to keep my hands busyso no one offered to take them.Because no one offered to take them.  In stores, I walk the long way around.Pretend I meant to end up here.Maps live in my head—jumbled, overlapped.So do exits,clearly labeled, flashing.  If I need something,I wait until…

  • This is not a moment I pass through. This is the condition under which I live.

    This is not a moment I pass through. This is the condition under which I live.

    I make coffee in the quiet before the day asks anything of me.  Measure. The scoop is heavier than it needs to be.Pour. Everything requires participation.Wait. The kettle takes too long. I pretend I’m in love with the idea of being alive, which feels close enough most days to pass for the real thing. The…